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How to Deal with Guilt as a Parent

Parental guilt is a feeling that parents deal with, often stemming from the feeling of not being enough for your child or your family unit as a whole. The feeling of guilt is a hard emotion to define, as it may feel different for different people. It can be best defined as the feeling when you are feeling remorse, sadness, anxiety or agony over a particular situation. It is important to note that the feeling of guilt can present itself in many different ways for people and can develop into something bigger, such as anxiety attacks or depression.

When an individual is a parent to a child with special needs from having developmental disabilities, guilt takes on a different meaning. The most common feeling of guilt when parenting a child with special needs is the feeling that you failed your child as a parent. The questions ‘Did I cause this?’ or ‘Could I have done more to prevent this?’ may linger in the brains of the dedicated parents of the child with disabilities. Not only can a parent feel responsible for his or her child’s condition, but they may feel guilty because they are grieving over the diagnosis. This type of parental guilt is incredibly complex and multi-dimensional, as there are often other emotions tied to the feeling of guilt such as grief, sadness, anxiety and often anger.

However, parental guilt may not be exclusive to the child that was diagnosed with a disability. Parents may start to feel guilty about putting more effort into their child with disabilities, feeling as though their other children and responsibilities are slipping through the cracks. For example, parents feel guilty about the lack of quality time that the feel falls short of what they should be achieving. This is a normal feeling and is often coupled with feeling overwhelmed by the amount of responsibilities he or she has, but it is important to recognize this feeling and to understand that the feeling is valid. By validating the feelings, it can help an individual move forward. The first step is to recognize the feeling and what is causing it, followed by taking the appropriate course of action that can help parents with their feelings and emotions.

As stated above, the feeling of parental guilt is not one-dimensional, which means that the ways to deal with parental guilt will vary from person to person. There are several ways to cope with and heal from parental guilt. Healing practices include but are not limited to:

  • Finding the right support group to help navigate through this transitional time in your life. This is a solution that may be best for those who thrive off of energy from others who are experiencing something very similar, if not identical to them.
  • Finding a therapist who can either cater to one parent, both parents or the family unit as a whole may be beneficial for those families that need mediation or are looking for professional guidance. Once a very taboo topic, therapy can be incredibly beneficial for those who are willing to let the therapist help them.
  • Reach out to your local Regional Center (https://www.dds.ca.gov/RC/RCList.cfm) to understand services that might be available for your child and gain access to resources and other families who may also be going through the same experience.
  • Setting aside time for each child individually. If a parent is feeling guilty due to the fact that one child is getting more attention over the other, it is important to make sure that all children feel included and loved. Perhaps scheduling a parent-child ‘date night’ each week can help each child feel as though they are getting their parents’ attention, without having to fight for it! If you are in need of assistance with your child with developmental disabilities while spending time with the other children, to supplement care for your child! Families with special needs deserve special circumstances and quality care that they can count on!
  • If you or your loved one responds better to literature and feels as though working through parental guilt is possible with the help of educational books, consider seeking those out through the local library or book store. It is also possible the local chapters of support groups have suggested reading lists that they may be inclined to send someone in need.
  • Meditation and solitude can bring a sense of clarity to a very chaotic or clouded mind. By seeking out professional meditation, a parent can tap into their feelings and how they can resolve their feelings in a productive way.

As a parent of a child with special needs, or the support system of a parent who has a child with disabilities, it is important to remember that the feelings of guilt are completely valid. Working through the feelings of parental guilt and feelings of guilt may be messy, complicated and challenging, but in the end, it is important to seek out resources that will be beneficial to each individual and their family unit.

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24 Hour Home Care review summary

Reviewer: Patricia
Patricia 2020-09-18 via Google
I like working for 24hr home care because they allow me to have a flexible schedule and I can take advantage of how far away from home I'd like to travel for work.
Reviewer: Liliana D
Liliana D 2020-09-18 via Google
Improving getting better and better really listen to our voice send us a recognition letter congratulating us as frontline workers, send us a little gift for our performance, send us an gift certificate from amazon for school supplies pack of $30 dollars for our children looking forward for more improvements feels good to be recognize as a great frontline worker helps us get more motivated afterall thats going on. Ive never got anything or a congratulations from them ever its the first time in the 3 years ive work with them and today they call me to say happy bday i feel special. Thank you 24hr homecare
Reviewer: Tatyana
Tatyana 2020-09-18 via Google
Pros: It’s nice working here. With this agency, you have a very flexible schedule. There are a lot of 4-5 hour shifts, although they do offer overnight shifts as well from 8 hours, maybe 12. You can qualify for employee benefits after 1 year of working here. They have “emergency rate” wages as well, these are last minute shifts that can raise from $1-5 an hour; if they hired you at $14hr and they give you an (e-rate) emergency rate then it’ll probably be from $15, $16, $17+ depending on the case. Traveling is required and they did have a virtual interview with me. They have employees working 24 hours if you decide to call them. They use the CC-Go app to clock in and clock out. They also give you a link to a corporate perks website that will give you discounts on phones, plane tickets, hotels ect. Cons: Communication with the office/managers can be difficult at times because when you call, anyone/random person can answer. My personal recommendation as a company request for employee(s): Sending each caregiver a “care package” in a ziplock bag with gloves, masks, hand sanitizer, ect. in case a facility or client doesn’t have the supplies needed. Having these “care packages” would help the company prevent any further sicknesses when dealing with urination and bowel movements if anything were to happen.
Reviewer: Samantha
Samantha 2020-09-13 via Google
Highly recommend!
Reviewer: Samantha
Samantha 2020-09-13 via Google
Great, award-winning company!
Reviewer: Samantha
Samantha 2020-09-13 via Google
Great company! Highly recommend.
Reviewer: CAROL
CAROL 2020-08-01 via Google
I LOVE BEING ON CALL THRU THE WEEK MAKE MORE MONEY, WORK WHEN YOU WANT. LOVE LOVE LOVE 24 HR AND ALL THE STAFFERS THERE THE BEST.
Reviewer: Laura
Laura 2020-06-12 via Google
Our care givers are loving, friendly and devoted. They are family! Thank you for being here for us.
Reviewer: Richard
Richard 2020-06-09 via Google
Our Care-giver Mudrakat is a blessing for us, with a big heart, and a very professional approach and skills - she will go far...
Reviewer: Raul
Raul 2020-05-28 via Google
Great place to work for!

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The success of our clients and company is entirely dependent on the quality of our caregivers. We make certain to find and provide our senior clients with the industry's best caretakers so that they have a positive in-home care experience. We submit all of our caregivers through nationwide background checks, assessment tests, and verify multiple references. All of our caregivers are required to be compassionate, reliable, experienced, and above all else, TRUSTWORTHY. We understand that you are entrusting your loved one's home and well-being with our company, and we take that very seriously.

24 Hour Home Care® is committed to improving the lives of our senior clients. By assisting seniors with their daily living activities, we are able to keep them at home where they are comfortable and allow them to thrive during this chapter of their lives. Not only do we strive to exceed customer satisfaction, but we strive to exceed employee satisfaction. We want all of our caregivers to be proud and happy to work for 24 Hour Home Care® so that they will provide the best senior home care possible!

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